I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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