So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
