Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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