Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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