You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
