I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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