U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
