so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
