I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
