Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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