The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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