Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want to make a zoo with you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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