careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
