You made me cry and you don't even care
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
