ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
