Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
