gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
