Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
