this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
