I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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