i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
