eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
