nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
