Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
