Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
