ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
