Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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