In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
3 2 1 whiskey
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
