Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Two words: blizzard sex
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
