Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
