Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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