My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
this is an emotional support booty call
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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