Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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