Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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