using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
