you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
