May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
