Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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