she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
