Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
