Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
