put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
