Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
