one two three fourrrrnication!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
