come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
