yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
