Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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