i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
