Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
