just tell him i said nine months
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
